i will reject you if #2

You are looking for a simple girl. Why would anyone want a simple girl? What is a simple girl? Do you want a non-materialistic girl? Do you want an eco-conscious anti-consumer girl? Do you want a slightly below-average-intelligence girl? I am a person. I am complicated. You are complicated. So why should I be simple? Is there actually such a thing as a simple girl? Do you know one of these? What is she like? Do you maybe mean sweet? Do you maybe mean compliant? Also, I am not a girl.

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2 Responses to “i will reject you if #2”


  1. 1 KaPau! August 22, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    Hmm…you pose an excellent question… I wonder if by “simple” most people and perhaps even more specifically most men, are actually thinking…”don’t complicate my life”…”don’t bring any drama” ..”don’t make me have to think “too” hard ever”…? Whatever…like *that’s* realistic either…and anyway, what fun would that kinds of “simplicity” even be really?

  2. 2 marriagearranged August 25, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    hey, that’s an awesome point. i think it’s actually code for “low maintenance” i.e. don’t take up too much physical or mental space in my life.
    i do think it’s very cultural, because i rarely if ever see it on match.com and its ilk but it’s all over indian matrimonial sites. and it plays well into traditional indian gender roles, which often times are still current indian gender roles.


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sec·ond-gen·er·a·tion (sknd-jn-rshn)

adj. 1. Of or relating to a person or persons whose parents are immigrants.

n.b.: arranged marriage

When I use "arranged marriage" here, I'm talking a very specific type of marriage, in which one (often a second generation immigrant) is socialized and pressured by their community to marry someone from within that community as part of a way to bind two families together. It's often accompanied by a cultural prohibition against dating, especially serial dating, such that there is typically a short timeline from meeting to marriage. In the United States, where I am, and in other diasporas, an arranged marriage isn't necessarily arranged anymore, although parents and grandparents shoulder much of the responsibility in networking and making introductions. The bride-to-be and groom-to-be yield veto power at all times and their happiness and consent are among the most critical criteria in proceeding. In general, the kind of arranged marriage that I know is enforced only by family and community approval and disapproval (although let's not underestimate how powerful these are). At no point am I talking about a truly arranged marriage in which there's no options, no veto, and enforcement by violence or restriction of liberty. I don't pretend that I know anything about living that kind of truth or that anything I experience is comparable to that kind of future.

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